I write about Trauma, Sex, BDSM and other human conditions we experience in our daily lives.

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Am I the Best It Was Ever Going to Get for Them?

In relationships, we often find ourselves contemplating if our partner is the best we could ever have. We weigh their qualities, compare them to past partners, and consider if they meet our expectations and desires. This focus, while natural, tends to center on our own experience and satisfaction. However, there is a more profound and potentially transformative question we often overlook: “Am I the best it was ever going to get for them?” This question…

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The Significance of Post-Intimacy Moments…

After moments of intimacy, what follows holds profound significance in shaping the dynamics of relationships. Some may seek solace in the embrace of their partner, while others may exchange tender words of affirmation. But how do these post-intimacy behaviors impact relationship dynamics? Research suggests that they play a crucial role, especially within the context of intimate connections. Understanding Post-Intimacy Dynamics Post-intimacy bonding encompasses a spectrum of actions and verbal exchanges that occur after moments of…

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Body Image and Self-Esteem: The Silent Struggle of Men…

When discussing body image issues, the spotlight often shines on women. However, men also grapple with significant challenges related to body image and self-esteem, often enduring their struggles in silence. Society’s rigid expectations, coupled with the media’s portrayal of the ideal male physique, contribute to a pervasive problem that deeply affects men’s mental, emotional, and psychological well-being. Understanding Body Image Issues in Men Body image pertains to how individuals perceive their physical appearance and believe…

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20 Red Flags in Women You Should Never Ignore…

The concept of ‘red flags’ is often discussed, yet frequently misunderstood or overlooked. The term ‘red flag’ refers to warning signs that signal unhealthy, manipulative, or even abusive behavior. While everyone has their personal list of red flags, some indicators are universally concerning and should never be ignored. This is particularly important in the context of relationships with women, where certain behaviors can be early indicators of deeper, more troubling issues. In today’s society, there…

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The Silent Struggle of Self-Neglect…

Neglect, often linked with overlooking the needs of others, quietly seeps into our personal lives, eroding our emotional well-being. In the hustle and bustle of daily life, amidst the noise of external demands, our own desires and necessities often get pushed aside. This realization hit home during a recent therapy session, where we discovered the profound impact of self-neglect. It became clear that neglect is not just something others can do to us—it is something…

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Culture Wars, Dating Preferences, and Weaponized Speech…

In the modern era of cultural shifts and evolving norms, our conversations have become battlegrounds for what can be aptly described as “culture wars.” While these wars have traditionally been associated with the age-old divide between progressives and conservatives, they’ve now extended their domain even within progressive circles. Within these spaces, intolerance, shaming, and the rampant use of weaponized speech are eroding the foundations of rational discourse. The term ‘-phobic,’ once a powerful tool for…

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Navigating Past Trauma and Rediscovering Empowerment…

In the realm of intimate relationships, trust, consent, and open communication are fundamental pillars. Within this framework, the BDSM lifestyle, encapsulating a diverse range of erotic practices, is no exception. It encompasses a spectrum of consensual activities guided by mutual respect and boundaries. However, past traumatic experiences can cast a shadow even in the most consensual and communicative of environments. Working with clients often leads to profound experiences not uncommon in intimate relationships. This narrative…

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Validation, starts with Ourselves…

In the hustle and bustle of our daily lives, it’s easy to find ourselves constantly seeking validation from external sources – friends, family, partners, colleagues, and even strangers on social media. While there’s nothing inherently wrong with seeking external validation, it becomes problematic when it becomes the sole source of our self-worth. The most profound form of validation, however, begins within ourselves. Exploring self-validation is crucial and transformational in our lives, as well as developing…

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Risky Sexual Behavior: A Closer Look at BDSM…

In the realm of human sexuality, the spectrum of desires and fantasies that we experience are vast, often extending into the territory of the unexpected and the adventurous. In the realm of BDSM, this can be a place where individuals navigate those desires, boundaries, and the thrill of exploration. As we find our way in this complex community with unlimited fetishes and kinks, we uncover the complexities of human desire, the intricate dance between fantasy…

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Balancing Acts: Addressing Relationship Entitlement…

Welcome to a journey into the intricacies of relationships. We all know that love is a beautiful thing, but it can also be challenging at times. One factor that often sneaks its way into partnerships is relationship entitlement. Picture this: Your partner asks you to give them a ride to their work function, and you’re happy to oblige. However, when they mention this to their colleagues, some expect you to do it as if it’s…

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