I write about Trauma, Sex, BDSM and other human conditions we experience in our daily lives.

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Validation, starts with Ourselves…

In the hustle and bustle of our daily lives, it’s easy to find ourselves constantly seeking validation from external sources – friends, family, partners, colleagues, and even strangers on social media. While there’s nothing inherently wrong with seeking external validation, it becomes problematic when it becomes the sole source of our self-worth. The most profound form of validation, however, begins within ourselves. Exploring self-validation is crucial and transformational in our lives, as well as developing…

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Risky Sexual Behavior: A Closer Look at BDSM…

In the realm of human sexuality, the spectrum of desires and fantasies that we experience are vast, often extending into the territory of the unexpected and the adventurous. In the realm of BDSM, this can be a place where individuals navigate those desires, boundaries, and the thrill of exploration. As we find our way in this complex community with unlimited fetishes and kinks, we uncover the complexities of human desire, the intricate dance between fantasy…

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Balancing Acts: Addressing Relationship Entitlement…

Welcome to a journey into the intricacies of relationships. We all know that love is a beautiful thing, but it can also be challenging at times. One factor that often sneaks its way into partnerships is relationship entitlement. Picture this: Your partner asks you to give them a ride to their work function, and you’re happy to oblige. However, when they mention this to their colleagues, some expect you to do it as if it’s…

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Maintaining a Strong Relationship Amidst Life’s Challenges…

In every relationship, external stressors can pose significant challenges, testing the strength and resilience of the bond between partners. This holds true in the unique context of BDSM dynamics, where additional factors specific to the BDSM community can contribute to the complexity of navigating stressors. From demanding work schedules to financial pressures, family conflicts, and the intricacies of power exchange, these stressors can create hurdles that BDSM couples must navigate together. Recognizing the impact of…

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Recharging and Reflecting: The Benefits of “Me” Time in the Lifestyle…

In the exhilarating world of BDSM, where power dynamics and intense activities reign supreme, it’s essential to recognize the value of “me” time. As an active participant within the BDSM lifestyle, I have come to appreciate the significance of carving out dedicated moments for self-care, reflection, and rejuvenation. Understanding and exploring why embracing “me” time is not only healthy but crucial for maintaining our mental and emotional well-being. What is “Me” Time in the BDSM…

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Satisfying Sexual Desires: Navigating Between Preferences and Fetishes…

Human sexuality is a complex and multifaceted phenomenon that encompasses various aspects, including personal preferences, desires, and fetishes. Although preferences and fetishes may seem to overlap, they are two distinct concepts with different implications for sexual behavior and identity. In writing this, I want to explore and dive into the psychology of sexual preference and fetishism, exploring the factors that differentiate them and examining how they relate to sexual identity. One way to understand the…

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Breaking the Silence: Men and Anxiety

Anxiety can be a difficult topic for anyone to discuss, but for men, it can be especially challenging. Men are often taught to be stoic and tough, to keep their emotions hidden and to avoid showing vulnerability. As a result, many men struggle silently with anxiety, feeling alone and isolated in their struggles. I have spoken with hundreds of men in our community, this seems to top their list of serious concerns. Research has shown…

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Why do we return to emotionally abusive relationships…

Abusive relationships aren’t limited to physical violence. The umbrella term “domestic abuse” encompasses various forms of abuse, such as psychological and emotional abuse. Identifying emotional abuse can be challenging, but typically, a relationship is classified as emotionally abusive when there is a recurring pattern of abusive words and behaviors that chip away at one’s self-esteem and harm their mental well-being. Leaving an abusive relationship is a crucial step, it can also be one of the…

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Why we chase after unavailable partners…

Dating and relationships are a minefield. They can be awkward and uneasy to navigate, full of pitfalls. We tend to exacerbate this when we are desperate and get involved with someone that is either mentally or emotionally unavailable. WE might as well just click the self-destruct button, because that is what we are doing. We are oblivious to this self-sabotaging behavior that we fall into. This pattern we have created for ourselves. Understanding and altering…

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A Man’s Honor and Integrity…

Men’s honor and integrity are some of the most vital traits that shape the way men interact with themselves, and the world around them. Honor is the adherence to a code of moral principles and integrity is the adherence to moral principles as they are lived out. Together they guide men’s actions and decision making, providing a foundation of trustworthiness and respectability. It is the embodiment of honor and integrity that allows men to be…

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