Anxiety can be a difficult topic for anyone to discuss, but for men, it can be especially challenging. Men are often taught to be stoic and tough, to keep their emotions hidden and to avoid showing vulnerability. As a result, many men struggle silently with anxiety, feeling alone and isolated in their struggles. I have spoken with hundreds of men in our community, this seems to top their list of serious concerns. Research has shown…
Read MoreAbusive relationships aren’t limited to physical violence. The umbrella term “domestic abuse” encompasses various forms of abuse, such as psychological and emotional abuse. Identifying emotional abuse can be challenging, but typically, a relationship is classified as emotionally abusive when there is a recurring pattern of abusive words and behaviors that chip away at one’s self-esteem and harm their mental well-being. Leaving an abusive relationship is a crucial step, it can also be one of the…
Read MoreDating and relationships are a minefield. They can be awkward and uneasy to navigate, full of pitfalls. We tend to exacerbate this when we are desperate and get involved with someone that is either mentally or emotionally unavailable. WE might as well just click the self-destruct button, because that is what we are doing. We are oblivious to this self-sabotaging behavior that we fall into. This pattern we have created for ourselves. Understanding and altering…
Read MoreMen’s honor and integrity are some of the most vital traits that shape the way men interact with themselves, and the world around them. Honor is the adherence to a code of moral principles and integrity is the adherence to moral principles as they are lived out. Together they guide men’s actions and decision making, providing a foundation of trustworthiness and respectability. It is the embodiment of honor and integrity that allows men to be…
Read MoreThere is a phrase that got its start in self-help programs. “Expectations are calculated resentments.” There is some truth in this statement, especially when we apply to the context of the lifestyle. How does the psychology of expectations help and apply to us in the lifestyle? We know, that if we expect to find the right person in the right role for us, to just pop out of thin air, it will not happen. Wanting…
Read MoreThere are many wonderful ways that the world of kink can provide many beneficial things to many different people. Exploration, fantasy, fulfillment and so forth. One misnomer that I am correcting lately is that somehow Kink or BDSM can be a substitute for actual therapeutic practices. This cannot be further from the truth. Currently, kink nor BDSM are recognized by any such organization such as American Psychological Association (APA), Association for Psychological Sciences (APS), or…
Read MoreI write a lot about well-being and our mindsets. One thing I constantly refer back to is, “Effort.” Without it, there is no relationship, just a one-way street that will quickly lead to someone ended up alone. Once we have gone through the courting process, negotiated our way into each other’s hearts, played, had some intense scenes, and have begun to really discover how much both people fit together, we enter a new phase of…
Read MoreRecently in a conversation with some friends and colleagues, we had been discussing and debating the overuse of the now popularized term of narcissism. This is not something I deal with in my practice, meaning that this is not an area that I treat. I wanted to give my take on it, especially when I see so much name calling on this, and many other social media websites when it comes to people. There are…
Read MoreIf a marker for the success of a relationship is based on our happiness, what does that say about that relationship when it is solely wrapped in misery? When we enter a relationship, there are some fundamentals that need to be in place for it to work. Without question, we need honesty as the front runner. The type of unparalleled honesty that makes a relationship grow and evolve. Trust grows from day one. Violations can…
Read MoreThink how happy you feel when you’re looking forward to something, whether it’s a holiday, the latest movie you want to see or seeing how the last few pages turn out in the novel you are reading. Research has shown that anticipating something can be a powerful, positive emotion that can help us live happier lives. Researchers tested a theory that anticipation arouses more intense emotion than retrospection. In other words, would people enjoy looking…
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