BDSM and the psychology behind the myths...

Psychological well-being within BDSM is not harmful or pathologized as once thought. We have to understand, BDSM has commonly been misconstrued as some form linked with psychopathology.

While the subculture of BDSM is still not widely studied in academic settings, as has been my experience with trying to convince a professor to supervise me on different studies, there are plenty of studies starting to emerge that reveal the positive effects and psychological betterment of BDSM practitioners.

We have to first understand that BDSM is a diverse universe within itself. The diversity at which sexual exploration is vast, as no kink or fetish really leaves anyone on the outside looking in.

Unfortunately, the main focus of most psychological research into BDSM over the last century has focused on its societal deviance or that there are potential links and comorbid factors to mental health conditions, unhealthy attachments and obsessions with either vast or minute sexual acts, or that some sort of trauma that occurred in the early stages of life, was some sort of segue into the BDSM culture, which in turn is then researched using psychoanalytical and psychopathological modeling.

What we do know is that there is now a growing interest in the BDSM culture, especially after the release of the movie that shall not be named. Screening and research models have indicated that BDSM related interest was becoming more commonplace, somewhere between 40 to 70%, in both male and female participants, while about a quarter of these numbers indicated that they have begun their initial foray into BDSM activities in one aspect or another. The diverse landscape of the BDSM culture is becoming increasingly vast, encompassing a multitude of racial, ethnic, sexual orientations, sexual identities, cultures and religious or non-religious affiliations.

One thing to take away from this, is that BDSM practitioners do not demonstrate increased levels of mental health or intimate relationship issues. As BDSM has been segue for increased awareness of a broad range of sexual proclivities and mannerisms, that do not solely focus on a fixed sexual interest. What does this mean in everyday language? That your interest in BDSM is healthy, can be more fulfilling and for some, lead to a better-quality relationship and sexual positivity. One thing to keep in mind, and I talked about this in my first podcast, the experience of pleasure and pain, in a BDSM context, will change between the people participating in the experience. That is, what is painful for one person is not necessarily painful for another. There are some that thrive on this pain for their sexual fulfillment, and there is not necessarily anything pathologically wrong with them.

Keep in mind, there are people who enjoy eating spicy foods, to the point that physiological responses, such as sweating, crying, blistering and so forth, happen, yet, these food lovers will return to the fold time and time again and subject themselves to this for the pleasure of eating the food.

For others, they enjoy drinking the latest alcoholic beverage that they know is going to burn their throat, gasp for air and hopefully keep down anything they just ate. So, does this mean there is something wrong with us? No, there is no direct correlation between enjoying increased levels of sexual proclivities, that there is an underlying deviance on a psychological or pathological level. For some context, BDSM has been associated with mental illness because of past traumas, pathological underlying issues, or difficulties taking place in early childhood, and has been linked to some paraphilic disorders.

So why does this pervasive view still occur in psychology and has a place firmly rooted in the Diagnostic Statistical Manual?

I feel it is because the views are misunderstood. I have had people come to me because they believed their therapist had a slanted view of the BDSM world.

While they may be kink-aware, meaning understanding that this culture exists, they have no practical experience within the community and do not fully grasp the concept of consensual agreement of sexual pain and pleasure. While the DSM-5 has left these definitions in, the ICD has removed some of this terminology. There are some mental health practitioners that feel that the presence of these terms in diagnostic manuals, used by mental health practitioners, can ostracize and stigmatize BDSM participants and attempt to classify them into a medical diagnosis, for nothing more than healthy and expressive sexual interests. Some people who seek mental health help, do not reveal the fact they are involved in the BDSM community for fear of being pathologized. Just because you have an interest in BDSM and the lifestyle in general, does not mean there is anything wrong with you. Even when mental health practitioners look to the criteria for sexual disorders, specifically sadomasochism and masochism, a person must clinically have substantial distress in their daily lives because of their sexual fixations, and then they have to act upon these impulses with a nonconsenting participant. Even with this spelled out, the criteria for these disorders are a bit ambiguous at best, and the causation of the initial distress is exactly clear. While psychological research is quite scant on BDSM, at least from a positive perspective, and most of the research has been tucked under the auspices of paraphilias, the world is beginning to accept and understand the benefits of BDSM practices. These mindsets of sexual disorders are being challenged. One thing that does stand in the way of furthering the psychological understanding of the BDSM culture, is the lack of willing participants. One of the main reasons being privacy concerns, as most practitioners do not want the outside world to know what transpires behind closed doors. Some have gone as far as to make others sign NDA’s, to protect themselves even in a legal sense. At least with the current research that is published or online, there is no compelling indication that BDSM practitioners have either maladaptive attachment issues or the majority have experienced childhood sexual abuse. I reiterate these points, because they are a source of contention and stress for many, so hopefully this provides a bit of reassurance.

While we can keep poking and prodding the BDSM community, and not necessarily in a good way, with a battery of testing and psychoanalytics, I feel there is already one thing the community has come to an understanding of, the participation in BDSM activities is healthy, mindful and deeply fulfilling.

It is not to say there are not those that do not suffer with mental health issues, that is a completely different issue, but what I am saying is that they are not mutually inclusive. While more of these studies begin to shed a positive light on the benefits and activities of the BDSM culture, we have to understand that those who participate in BDSM less compulsive, more outgoing, open to new adventures, show increased signs of empathy, have lowered signs of rejection sensitivity, feel more fulfilled and are generally happier.

Obviously, not every relationship dynamic works, not without effort, and that is a topic for another discussion. It is just nice to know that we can experience the same levels if not more, of happiness and sexual freedom inside of the BDSM community. That is something we should all want to be a part of in one fashion or another.